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20-12-2010, 02:58 AM | Post: #1
pvt.samson 
This is my first story on the forums and on bfh

Date:September,19th,1941
19th regiment
Location:the edge of France and Germany
Pvt.Samson writing hear this morning we just got our news out that we are making our big attack on the nationals today. My stomach is killing itself with the fear of not getting out alive these Nazis are serious stuff. So now im getting ready to head out i believe we are the 2nd platoon to go and fight the Kraut's. oh god have mercy on the 1st platoon to head out. i wonder what my family back in Nebraska is thinking of me. i hope they know im alright. im gonna put my journal away and catch up on my sleep a bit.

not much of a sleep maybe 10 minutes we heading out now. they wont even tell us what is truly going on i can hear the nationals circling us with their planes. the fight is beginning soon we started marching around 9 am. when we got to the battle grounds the phrase early bird gets the worm showed as a true statement at this time. the kruat had gotten there first fighting of the 11 regiment. brave soldiers the 11th was. we were in a town called Loki. We took cover in buildings and on the street. tanks didn't come for a while it was just a full blown fire fight. i popped up my head with my Thompson and took down three nats. i hate to say it but this is adrenaline pumping. Im getting over excited by the time our tanks get here. im popping up and taking the Nazis down. we pushed forward by the time we get to the bunkers our men are exhausted. I was still excited and i went in the bunker first i went in there and got knocked across the head with a metal swastika it hurt. i soon realize Ive gotten myself into a fist fight with dusty kruat. fists are everywhere until i pull out my pistol and kill that son of a *****. Ive been abandon my men are gone but the rest of the nats are dead.

im walking through the town alone, dazed, and very confused. i see some guys to my left. now my trigger finger is trembling thinking about these guys families back home then i think about my men, the jews, and my america survivng, then i had no problem shooting them. i search there body's one was a commander the other two privates. i kept a luger for myself thought it would be a good souvenir. i have finally found my platoon by now its 10 pm the next day. i am scared shi* less we head up and set up camp.this is where we sleep. im done righting Ive gotten weary.

tell me if you like it i know punc. gramm. and spelling is bad but i dont wanna fix it

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(This post was last modified: 21-12-2010 04:13 AM by pvt.samson.)
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20-12-2010, 03:28 AM | Post: #2
K.U.S.T. 
I didn't even read it it was so bad. First off, I quote my signature. Secondly, with grammar like that, who could read it. I'm sorry, but you really need to fix this if you ever want this story to be successful at all.

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



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20-12-2010, 03:34 AM | Post: #3
ZeroedGamer 
If you don't want to fix it, then many people will not read it.
This is very confusing, no description is present, and of course, the grammar absolutely bombs.
Please, oh PLEASE use MW (Microsoft Word) or another device like it, and use the "checker".

EDIT: Oh failure, you decorate my siggy so nicely!

(20-12-2010 02:58 AM)pvt.samson Wrote:  My stomach is killing itself with the fear of not getting out alive these nazis are serious stuff.
(This post was last modified: 20-12-2010 03:36 AM by ZeroedGamer.)
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20-12-2010, 03:49 AM | Post: #4
Dr.Fart.jr 
nice story man

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20-12-2010, 03:56 AM | Post: #5
K.U.S.T. 
(20-12-2010 03:49 AM)Dr.Fart.jr Wrote:  nice story man

This is your first post in the WS section and you have probably never read a story in your life, so GTFO!

@Zeroed: Love the new sig :3

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



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20-12-2010, 04:26 AM | Post: #6
ZeroedGamer 
I know, it rocks, don't it?

(20-12-2010 02:58 AM)pvt.samson Wrote:  My stomach is killing itself with the fear of not getting out alive these nazis are serious stuff.
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20-12-2010, 04:41 AM | Post: #7
K.U.S.T. 
It is FTW all the way!

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



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20-12-2010, 04:47 AM | Post: #8
K.U.S.T. 
Just updated my sig Tongue

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



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20-12-2010, 05:43 AM | Post: #9
Kovo11 
This looks like something Bob and Doug McKenzie would make up in their spare time (cookies to you if you get that reference).

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20-12-2010, 05:49 AM | Post: #10
K.U.S.T. 
No. I don't know the reference Sad. Also, I think it's kinda dumb how people say, "This is my first story on the forums and on bfh," which kind of means the same thing.

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



Xfire: the1real1kust | Steam: blackmesaind

(This post was last modified: 20-12-2010 05:49 AM by K.U.S.T..)
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21-12-2010, 01:26 AM | Post: #11
pvt.samson 
i said i didnt go back and check it so u can stop posting 7 comments "dude your story sucks"
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21-12-2010, 01:39 AM | Post: #12
K.U.S.T. 
I'm sorry, but it really does. If you would actually go through and correct it, or even put some paragraphs in, I might read it and give it a better opinion.

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-The Kingdom of the United Sectors of Terra



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21-12-2010, 02:41 AM | Post: #13
pvt.samson 
it is ment to look like a journal post from a solider i do think you right about the grammar and stuff and i fixed that in my second one but no paragraphs i suppose
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21-12-2010, 02:50 AM | Post: #14
NastyMann 
(21-12-2010 02:41 AM)pvt.samson Wrote:  it is ment to look like a journal post from a solider i do think you right about the grammar and stuff and i fixed that in my second one but no paragraphs i suppose

Hubbadaermamer---WUZZAT???

Poor "I" was brutally raped by you, and now his neck is only standing on a small tiny thread of bone and his head had formed into a circle, making this. "i."

STOP RAPING GRAMMAR!!!

...

And make this dude stop following me!

[Image: attachment.php?attachhash=0b8d4794dfa166...e630082c14]

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(This post was last modified: 21-12-2010 02:52 AM by NastyMann.)
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